The History of Golf

Rain. Wind.

Street Sign #1

Street Sign #2 - this one isn't quite as obvious

We woke to sunlight. I almost took a picture of it, since it was so unusual and I could barely remember what it was. We broke our fast with a big breakfast that included the mythical haggis. I ate it, spewed it all over the restaurant and passed out. No in all seriousness it’s very good, and I recommend that you all try it.

The drive to skye was defined by stark but stunning vistas of rounded, tree-less mountains. We passed glassy lochs multiplying the mountain views by two, ringed by one or maybe two houses. Not bad living quarters. The roads wind enough for an audi or a bmer to be a pre-requisite.

Our stop of the day, once we made it to the island, was at the Pinnacles of Stor. The main pinnacle is named the Old Man of Stor. Now this was the second old man we’d come across in as many days (the first mountain on our ridge tour was also named the Old Man). That’s a lot of old men. I guess that’s like the Devil’s Throat phenomenon in Argentina – every park there has one. The hike up wasn’t quite the 8 hour trek of the day before. Rather we wandered up to the pinnacles, threw some rocks at other tourists and chased some sheep. Soon we found ourselves hopping a fence (it was allowed) and walking away from the crowds. Eventually we had owhere higher to go. We looked around and had a 360-degree view of the Isle of Skye. It is perhaps the best view I have ever seen. I felt as if I was in Middle Earth watching Theoden ride across the plains of Rohan. We looked in another direction though and thought we saw the clouds of Mordor – a storm was brewing, and we were just a few hundred feet below the clouds. Better not stay long, unless we wanted to learn how to fly. But wow that view is second to none. Islands dotting the bay in one direction, ocean in another, and mountains growing out of the water in another. We just couldn’t get enough.

It’s probably a good time to explain to you the history of golf. Scotland, from what JP and I have been able to discern, is a giant fairway. There is soft carpet-grass everywhere. The top of this cliff where we had this view was no exception. Few trees, lots of grass and many sheep. The sheep are a key element because you need a ball. Infinite Empty Grass + Petrified Sheep Turds = 600 year old sport. I can just imagine sheep herders throwing back some whisky, taking a stick and whacking some sheep turds at some distant fence post. Aye laddie, I’ll bet you a cow you can’t drive it 250 yards!

Dinner saw us hit up the local joint, where it seemed as if every toothless fisherman pulled up for a pint. The stories that these guys have under their belts have to be one of a kind. Believe me though when I say Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire playing in the background was a bit out of place.

Day 2: rain storm. Sorry, make that rain hurricane. We found a hike, and being the brave (read: stupid) souls that we are we decided to go for it. The rain was fierce, but that’s if and only if the wind let it fall. The wind was the strongest I have ever felt. It was literally blowing both of us around the path. We trudged a bit farther, saw some neat rock formations and old rock walls, and turned around. On our way back we saw some waterfalls that were blowing upwards. Houston? Is it a problem if no water from a waterfall is hitting the ground?

The rest of the day saw us trying to dry off as we explored the rest of the island. For some reason the grass next to the roads must be the sweetest, as all the sheep on the island seem to stand within three feet of the pavement. Or maybe they just want to moon us as we drive by. While trying to avoid these woolly animals we stopped in Portree, the island’s biggest town, before heading over to the east side of the island to check out the Talisker Distillery and a castle.

The night was a relaxed one – although I have to mention that we did catch a few minutes of a game show on TV. Never in my life have I seen a game show where you can get every question wrong but still win the most money possible. Unbelievable.

I’ll bet they would have guessed the history of golf though.